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I get the tube daily and as a result I see a variety of stupid things on the tube.
Tube Chapters will be my little series of short tube stories that I see on a near daily basis.

Let’s start with the iPad Predicament.

It was a busy Thursday, as is every day when you are getting on the Victoria line at Stockwell, that Northern Line can bite me.

Experience has since told me the front of the tube is the quiet part, the rear is swamped, thanks Brixton.

Getting on the crowded part means standing in the middle with the iPads, Metros and Timeout magazine readers being over bearing and pretending you aren’t there. Damn those elbows. Thursday was the day the tube fought back.

Typical iPad douche was reading The Times on his shiny silver cased iPad that he was show boating with what I assume is a new iPad 4 but he could just be a douche.

Typically bumpy ride but iPad douche is tube surfing so he can double grip his iPad. He’s unstable and shakey but loving his shiny iPad when the magic happens.

The tube makes an abrupt jerk leaving Pimlico, iPad douche goes for a flying lesson with a difference.

iPad first he gets launched toward the central pole, iPad hits the pole and seemingly no damage….until he follows through with his head which remarkably goes straight through the iPad snapping it clean in two. Sadly no video was taken or I’d be shorting stock in Gorilla glass before posting this.

The result was a man, with a huge gash on his head and glass stuck to his forehead, gently sobbing into his hands.
Victoria Line 1 – 0 iPad douche.
Sadly it was my stop so I could get no further reactions, I assume the person under the train incident later in the day isn’t related or certainly hope not.

It’s just an iPad.

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